JOE ABERCROMBIE-THE HEROES

Abercrombies best work to date. Whilst prose will never be his strongest point its improved greatly since the rather clunky debut 'The Blade Itself.' Instead of the usual rambling journey all to common in fantasy (there and back again) The Heroes focuses on one three day battle. This allows Abercrombie to ram home a strong message on the folishness of glamourising war and violence without raming home that message down our throats, quite an achievement. The author has always had a knack for subverting the genre in amusing fashion and creating funny, larger than life characters whilst still ensuring that they remain relatively believeable. But there's always been a slightly juvenile feel to his writing before, in Best Served Cold, his previous novel a supporting characters bowels release after her death causing her killers nose to wrinkle in disgust. It did me as well and I've read Terry Goodkind. This accusation can't be levelled against The Heroes however as its an all together more mature work. In fact I feel its the first time the author has asked us to take him seriously.

Break a Leg..................No Really!

Auditions for an xmas tour of Christmas Carol and Pride and Prejudice. So I'd like to take this opportunity to wish all the actors going for the roles that I want the very worst of luck. None of that 'may the best man win' or 'as long they've got the right guy for the role' bollocks! You're trying to lower my standard of living and furthermore I hate all that false bonhomie 'we're all in this together commardirie'.
It achieves nothing except making me want to die.

I've started so I probably won't finish.

Always do this. Have a few bevies and start writing. Last night I was a literary giant who was going to sweep aside all pretenders with the genius of my creation and then this morning I read it. Sober.That was my first mistake.
Badly scrawled biro ramblings revealing some frankly disturbing insights into my psyche and a central character that makes Andy Murray appear charasmatic by comparison do not an award winning west end production make.
Anyone got any ideas for a title? Its a sort of cross between Skins and Cannibal Holocaust.

The Rear End of a Cow.

Thats basically what I've been playing these past few months. A cow's arse. Finally finished the tour and all I've got to show for it is a bad back and an aversion panto quadrapeds! Now onwards to the Boro and signing on! Joy beyond all possible joys!

P.S. I may well experiment with alcoholisim. Cider probably It seems rather disegenious to poison yourself with anything as classy as Blossom Hill Chardonay.

I will never play the dane!

However a singing candlabra is a distinct possibility!
Audition wasn't successful but it seems the company have had trouble filling a few places or maybe someone dropped out. Who knows? After six months of unemployment its a relief to find any work so an oudoor kids production of Beauty and the Beast it is!

SUDOKO A GOGO!

Had my audition on sat. Seemed to go quite well although my Shakespeare was paraphrased to buggery! Asked me to read for Shylock as well. "If you cut us do we not bleed?" You know the one.
Very straightforward and clear speech. Would like to play the part even though I've never seen a performance nor read the play.

News just in! Rachel Weisz is still 'Hawt' despite being 40 years of age!

TWAT! A RE-IMAGINING (spelling? Is there supposed to be an e there somewhere? Honestly I dont know where my head is these days.)

So author Scot Lynch has been suffering from depression and panic attacks. Anyone who's had a panic attack knows there not exactly a bundle of laughs and yet there's still those who snipe and whine because they feel their entitled to have a writers latest work when they want it, not when its actually done and dusted. Seriously guys an gals, get a fucking life as theres far more important shit out there to occupy your time.
Hati anyone?